By  Camille Johnson

Discussing end-of-life arrangements with a loved one is a challenging yet necessary conversation that ensures everyone's wishes are respected. Approaching this topic with calmness and sensitivity fosters a respectful and productive dialogue. Thoughtfulness in this process leads to peace of mind for both you and your loved one, making it a crucial step in honoring their final wishes and ensuring all preferences are clearly understood.
 
Choose the Right Time
Timing a conversation about end-of-life arrangements is crucial to ensure it is meaningful and respectful. These discussions are often sensitive and deeply personal, so choosing a moment when both parties are calm and emotionally prepared is essential. Initiating the talk during a non-stressful period rather than during a crisis allows for clearer communication and thoughtful decision-making. It also gives the individual the opportunity to articulate their wishes fully, ensuring they feel heard and understood. Addressing these matters early can provide peace of mind for everyone involved, reducing uncertainty and potential conflicts later on while fostering a sense of preparedness and support.

Decide Who Should Be Part of the Conversation
Deciding who should talk to a loved one about their end-of-life arrangements and who should support them through the process depends on their preferences and the dynamics of the relationship. Ideally, the person initiating the conversation should be someone the individual trusts deeply, whether that’s a spouse, a child, or a close friend. This trust ensures the loved one feels safe sharing their wishes openly. In some cases, it may be helpful to involve multiple family members, such as all adult children, to ensure everyone understands the arrangements and feels included. However, if the person prefers a more private conversation, they might choose to confide in just one trusted individual. The same trusted person or group can walk alongside them in fulfilling these decisions, offering emotional support and ensuring their wishes are honored when the time comes. The key is respecting the loved one’s choice of who they feel most comfortable involving in this journey.
 
Stay Calm
When discussing end-of-life arrangements, it’s important to stay calm and composed. Your demeanor sets the tone for the conversation. If you are calm, it helps to ease your loved one’s anxiety. Deep breaths and a clear, gentle approach can make a significant difference. This steadiness ensures that the discussion remains respectful and focused, providing a safe space for your loved one to express their wishes and concerns. A composed approach also helps in clearly understanding their needs without added stress.
 
Address Concerns
You will likely encounter fears and concerns during the conversation. Acknowledge these feelings openly and with empathy. Allow your loved one to voice their worries, whether about pain, loss of autonomy, or the unknown. Validating their emotions shows that you respect and understand their perspective. This approach can build trust and provide a foundation for a more open and honest dialogue about their end-of-life preferences. Addressing concerns candidly also helps in finding practical solutions to alleviate these fears.
 
Offer Reassurance
Offer unwavering support throughout the conversation. Reassure your loved one that you will respect and honor their wishes. Let them know that they are not alone in this process and that you are there to help them navigate every step. Providing emotional support can alleviate some of the fears associated with discussing end-of-life arrangements, making the conversation less intimidating and more collaborative. Your presence and reassurance can significantly ease their emotional burden during this sensitive time.
 
Discuss Medical Choices
Medical preferences are a critical component of end-of-life planning. Discuss their desires regarding life-sustaining treatments, such as resuscitation or ventilation. Understanding their medical wishes ensures that decisions made in critical moments align with their values. Having this clarity can prevent unnecessary stress and confusion during emergencies, providing peace of mind that their medical care will be managed according to their preferences. Knowing their choices ahead of time helps in making informed decisions quickly.
 
Respect Spiritual Beliefs
Spiritual beliefs often play a significant role in end-of-life decisions. Engage in a discussion about any spiritual or religious considerations that may influence their choices. Respecting these beliefs is crucial as they can provide comfort and guidance to your loved one. This conversation can help in aligning their end-of-life arrangements with their spiritual values, ensuring that their final moments are as meaningful and comforting as possible. Recognizing and honoring these beliefs fosters a deeper connection and understanding.
 
Ask to Digitize Essential Documents
Digitizing important documents and records related to your loved one’s arrangements can streamline the process and ensure that everything is easily accessible. By saving documents as PDFs, you ensure they are secure and unalterable. Additionally, using a PDF editor allows you to make necessary changes without converting files to other formats. This organization ensures that critical information is readily available when needed, reducing stress during urgent situations. For additional details on digitization, click for more.
 
Professional Guidance
Incorporating professional guidance can be extremely beneficial. Consider consulting healthcare providers, legal advisors, or counselors who specialize in end-of-life planning. These professionals can offer expert advice, answer complex questions, and provide resources that ensure all aspects of your loved one’s arrangements are thoroughly considered. Professional input can add an extra layer of reassurance and accuracy to the planning process. Their expertise ensures that nothing is overlooked, and all legal and medical details are addressed.
 
Approaching end-of-life arrangements with sensitivity and respect ensures your loved one's wishes are honored. By maintaining calmness, addressing concerns, and offering support, you create a supportive environment for these important discussions. This thoughtful preparation provides peace of mind for everyone involved, allowing for a dignified and respectful transition that honors your loved one's life and choices, ensuring they are cared for according to their wishes.
 
Discover inspirational messages by visiting Erica S. Kim's website today to explore her journey and find hope and faith for your own path.

​When you face the heart-wrenching task of clearing out a deceased loved one's home, it can feel overwhelming. This guide from Erica Shinya Kim aims to support you in this journey, providing a structured approach to make this difficult task more manageable. You'll learn how to handle personal belongings, prepare the house for sale, manage your stress, and more, turning this challenging time into an opportunity for reflection and moving forward.

Sorting Personal Items 
Sorting through personal items amid loss demands emotional resilience and practical decision-making from you. Concentrate on retaining items with sentimental value, yet be mindful that holding onto everything is not practical. Embrace this task by balancing emotional attachment with a pragmatic mindset. This approach helps you treasure memories while avoiding the cluttering of your space.

Organize Important Documents and Records 
Organizing your loved one's important documents, such as medical and financial records, is crucial when it comes to settling their estate, ensuring that everything is in order for easy access and processing. By using this app you can scan your document directly from your device’s camera, converting it to PDF format for universal compatibility and consistency across various platforms. Additionally, the app offers features to password-protect sensitive information and compress files to maximize storage space, making document management both secure and efficient.

Preparing for a Home Sale 
Before selling your home, there are key steps you need to take to get it ready for the market including making any necessary updates and repairs. These improvements significantly enhance the appeal of the house to potential buyers. Engaging in this process also serves as a cathartic way to renew and emotionally part with your loved one's space. This careful preparation ensures the home not only looks its best but also honors the memories held within.

Organizing an Estate Sale 
An estate sale can be an efficient way to handle items that won’t be kept. This process allows you to find new homes for your loved one's belongings, potentially with people who will cherish them as much as your loved one did. It’s a practical solution that also honors the life and memory of your loved one.

Coping with Stress and Making Smart Decisions 
If making a decision about something has you feeling stressed, taking a deep breath may help you better evaluate your choices. It's essential to keep your stress levels in check throughout this process. Give yourself time to pause, reflect, and emotionally process while you navigate through your loved one’s possessions. These moments of stillness are vital in ensuring your decisions are both considerate and clear-headed.

Digitizing Important Documents 
In today's digital age, storing important documents digitally is a secure and convenient way to keep them accessible. This can include legal papers, photographs, or even digital versions of your loved one's favorite recipes. By digitizing these documents, you ensure their preservation and ease of access whenever you need them.

Seeking Support 
Reach out to family, friends, or support groups for both emotional and physical assistance in this challenging time. Their support can be a crucial lifeline, offering not only practical help but also emotional solace and understanding. Building a network of support provides a foundation of strength and comfort. Their presence and aid in your journey will help alleviate the weight of this challenging process.

Engaging a Professional Organizer
Enlisting the expertise of a professional organizer can significantly lighten your load. Hiring an experienced professional organizer to declutter and organize your loved one's belongings is a thoughtful and stress-relieving decision. This allows you the time and space to navigate your emotional journey without the added burden of sorting through belongings.
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Clearing out a deceased loved one's home is an emotionally charged journey. However, with these steps, you can approach this task in a way that is both respectful to your loved one's memory and manageable for you. Remember, it's not just about organizing physical items; it's also an opportunity to reflect, cherish memories, and find a path forward. Lean on those around you, prepare the home for sale, and don't hesitate to seek professional guidance to help you through this time.
 
Note from Erica: 
Death is an overwhelming and difficult event. Sometimes, we need practicals to help us sort through our daily life needs. I pray that you are gaining strength from others and from God during this time of difficulty and that you can honor your loved one by sorting through their life's treasures! May you feel comfort through this time!

By Camille Johnson

       Navigating the tumultuous waves of grief demands strength and vulnerability, a path made more bearable through mindfulness. This practice serves as a coping mechanism and transforms the approach to loss. It invites you to experience and accept your emotions within a compassionate framework. Erica Shinya Kim shares more:

Embracing Your Emotions Fearlessly
       The initial step is learning to confront and acknowledge your emotions without judgment. Grief, with its myriad faces—anger, sadness, guilt, or even relief—demands recognition. Mindfulness fosters an environment where these feelings can surface, be recognized, and not judged. 
        By allowing yourself to fully experience your emotions, you give them space to exist without letting them define or overwhelm you. This acknowledgment acts as the foundation for healing, emphasizing the temporary nature of emotional states and promoting a healthier processing of loss.

The Power of Reflection
       Incorporating daily reflection into your routine establishes a rhythm of mindfulness that supports your journey through grief. Setting aside time for quiet contemplation or meditation each day helps you to connect with your inner self, observing thoughts and emotions as they arise without engaging or critiquing them. 
       This practice cultivates an intimate understanding of your grief, recognizing its nuances and how it evolves over time. Through regular reflection, you gain insights into your emotional process, paving the way for acceptance and healing.

Journaling: A Safe Haven for Thoughts 
        The act of journaling serves as a therapeutic outlet, allowing you to articulate and explore your feelings and memories related to your loss. Writing down your thoughts provides clarity and aids in emotional processing. Additionally, preserving these journal entries as PDFs ensures that your reflections are securely saved, allowing you to revisit them when needed. 
         Online tools that generate professional-looking documents easily facilitate the organization and preservation of your writings, creating a tangible record of your journey through grief. This practice not only supports healing but also honors and memorializes your experience.

Mindful Listening as a Bridge to Connection
         Sharing the story of your loss and listening to others with full presence enriches the conversation with empathy and connection. Mindful listening—focusing entirely on the speaker, absorbing their words without distraction—creates a compassionate space for shared grief. 
          This practice not only aids in processing your own emotions but also fosters a sense of community and mutual support. Being fully present allows you and your conversation partners to navigate the grief journey together, grounded in understanding and empathy
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The Sanctuary of Visualization
         Visualization offers a refuge from the storm of emotions that grief can bring. By engaging in guided imagery to envision places of peace and safety, you momentarily step away from your sorrow, finding solace in a tranquil mental escape. 
          This method provides a much-needed break from the intensity of grief, allowing you to gather strength and continue on your path. Whether it’s a serene beach at sunset or a cozy, fire-lit room, these mental retreats are comforting havens during turmoil.

Transforming Self-Talk into Self-Compassion
​         The inner dialogue accompanying grief can be harsh and unforgiving. Mindfulness encourages a shift toward compassionate self-talk,  replacing critical thoughts with messages of understanding and kindness. 
         Recognizing grief as a universal human experience allows for a gentler approach to self-judgment. This mindful practice of nurturing positive internal conversation bolsters resilience and facilitates a forgiving journey through grief.

The Strength Found in Support
         The path of grief, while personal, need not be walked alone. Reaching out to friends, family, or professionals for support lightens the emotional burden and introduces perspectives of empathy and understanding. 
          Sharing your journey with those who can offer solace or guidance provides a sense of belonging and community. Whether through intimate conversations or structured support groups, embracing the collective wisdom and compassion of others is invaluable in navigating the complexities of grief.

Conclusion
          Mindfulness in grief is not about quick fixes or avoiding pain; it’s about moving through the experience with awareness, acceptance, and compassion for oneself. By integrating these practices into your life, you create a space where healing can occur at its own pace, marked by moments of peace, understanding, and eventual reconciliation with loss. Remember that the journey through grief is deeply personal, and mindfulness offers a guiding light toward finding balance and peace amidst the shadows.

​Grief is a challenging and personal journey that affects people in different ways. While you must allow yourself time and space to wrap your head around your loss, setting healthy goals now can provide structure, purpose, and comfort to yourself and others throughout the grieving process. Erica Shinya Kim offers tips on small goals you can set to help you walk toward health and healing.
 
Exercise
 
Exercise has many benefits for those struggling with grief. Not only does it get you off the couch, but exercise also triggers the brain’s release of endorphins, the “feel-good” hormone. Even if you’re pressed for time, you can walk during the work day by skipping the elevator or taking a quick stroll to the local sandwich shop or park for lunch.
 
Consider a side job
 
Dealing with the loss of a spouse often brings not only emotional distress but also financial challenges, as your household income might have significantly reduced. In such circumstances, seeking a side job could be a practical solution to help manage your finances. Additionally, engaging in a new work environment can offer a distraction, aiding in coping with your grief. This approach not only helps in paying the bills but also provides an opportunity for social interaction and personal growth during a difficult time. 
 
Practice self-care
 
Self-care plays a crucial role in the healing process. This simply involves taking intentional actions that make you feel mentally, emotionally, and physically well. A few self-care goals to set include creating a daily routine and practicing mindful gratitude. You can also add some indoor plants in your home to help clean the air. HomeGardenHero is a great resource for finding care information on various popular indoor plants.
 
Seek support and connections
 
In the wake of any tragedy, finding a group of people that understand where you are mentally and emotionally can be a huge boon to your overall well-being. Now’s a great time to seek comfort in your friends and family. If they don’t fully understand where you are in your grief journey, you can also look for a lost support group. GriefShare is an excellent resource that can help you find your community.
 
Volunteer
 
When you do good, you feel good. While you might not feel like getting out of the house, spending some time as a volunteer has many benefits. According to the University of Maryland Medical System, lending a hand to a cause near and dear to your heart can give you a boost of happiness while lowering your blood pressure. Importantly, volunteering is also a great avenue by which you might forge friendships and create even more social and supportive connections. If you’re not sure where to volunteer, consider something that was special to the one you lost. The Alzheimer’s Association, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, or your local food bank are all worthy causes that can help you turn your loved one’s memory and to change.
 
Prepare for a New Career
 
When considering ways to advance your dreams, furthering your education is a significant avenue to explore. This path can open new opportunities and enhance your skills, making it a valuable step in achieving your aspirations. However, it's important to approach this decision with care, especially during emotionally challenging times. Following the passing of a loved one, it's advisable to avoid making any major decisions, including educational commitments, for at least six months. This period allows for emotional healing and clearer thinking, ensuring that any decisions made are in your best interest. Taking this time can also provide a better perspective on how this educational pursuit fits into your long-term goals and dreams.
 
Pursuing a degree, such as a bachelor's in computer science, can open doors to rewarding careers like cybersecurity or software engineering. The flexibility of online degree programs is particularly advantageous for those balancing full-time work or family obligations. These programs allow you to study and complete coursework on your own schedule, making it feasible to achieve your diploma without sacrificing other important aspects of your life. 
 
However, it’s crucial to choose an online school that is not only accredited but also offers competitive tuition rates. Accreditation ensures the quality and recognition of your education, while affordable tuition is key to making this step financially viable. Researching and comparing different programs to see how this can benefit your bottom line is an essential part of the decision-making process. By taking this proactive step, you can work towards a fulfilling career that aligns with your aspirations, turning a period of grief into a catalyst for personal and professional growth.
 
Find a New Job
 
Grief, while profoundly challenging, can sometimes serve as a poignant reminder of life's brevity and propel you toward pursuing a more fulfilling career. This realization often inspires a desire for change, encouraging you to seek a position that aligns more closely with your passions and values. However, like heading back to school, it’s important to give yourself time to determine if a career change is truly something that’s right for you.
 
Before embarking on this new career path, it's important to ensure your resume is updated with your latest experience, skills, and accomplishments. Using a PDF format for your resume is a wise choice as it maintains the consistency of your formatting, visual elements, and overall design across different devices and operating systems, which is crucial for making a professional impression. If your current resume is in a different file format, you can change your files to the desired format online easily. Utilize an online tool that allows for simple conversion of documents to PDFs by just dragging and dropping them into the tool.


 
It is often believed that grief unfolds through specific phases, but this viewpoint can oversimplify the experience. Grief is unique and personal, manifesting in various ways for different individuals. In navigating your grief, consider setting daily achievable objectives. These can range from minor activities, like a brief walk during your lunch break, to significant decisions, such as launching a small business. Select actions that resonate with you, keeping in mind that while time gradually eases sorrow, actively engaging in your journey through grief can facilitate a smoother path to healing.

If you have recently lost a loved one, you may be juggling several tasks, such as putting the affairs in order, planning the funeral or memorial, and dealing with your own grief. At the same time, you may be struggling to write a death announcement on multiple social media platforms. This is an especially challenging time, and stress is practically unavoidable, which is why you should be careful when making decisions. Take steps like prioritizing what needs to be addressed first, and to do your best to look forward instead of backward.
 
Consider the following step-by-step guide from grief counselor Erica S. Kim when deciding how to best memorialize your loved one online.
 
1. Notify Family and Close Friends In-Person or Privately
 
Make your best effort to notify family and friends of your mutual loved one’s passing on the phone or face to face. If this is too difficult at this time, ask another person for help calling and spreading the sad news, and let traditional bereavement etiquette be your guide when responding to those who have reached out to you. It is important to establish trust in your conversations. Because these conversations can be difficult for all parties involved, clarity of communication is a necessity.
 
2. Ask for Help Writing Your Posts
 
If you don’t consider yourself a writer—or you don’t feel that you can adequately honor your loved one who has passed in a post—ask for help. You may be able to outline what you want to include in the obituary and work with someone else to create an appropriate and respectful post that conveys your love and intention without having to write it yourself. If there isn’t a writer in the family, use this resource from Cake to aid in writing the announcement and choosing appropriate wording.
 
3. Avoid Blunt or Triggering Language
 
According to Mental Health America, grief is a complex and stressful emotional condition expressed in a number of ways. Your pain may be raw and at the forefront of your mind, and you might be tempted to write a death announcement that reflects that pain. While this is up to you, consider that certain friends and distant family members may discover your loved one’s passing through social media. Smilebox suggests writing an announcement that includes non-triggering wording, such as “it is with great sadness that I announce” at the beginning to decrease the unintentional shock value of the post.
 
4. Turn Your Deceased Loved Ones’ Social Media Accounts Into Memorials
 
Many social media platforms give you the option of deleting your deceased loved ones’ accounts when they pass. You may also wish to memorialize the page so that others can leave comments and well-wishes to the family. If he or she had family and friends who lived far away or cannot make it to the funeral service, memorializing social media or setting up an obituary page specifically for this purpose would be appropriate. You can also update social media with pictures from the grave site when it is decorated for holidays or important days of memorial.
 
5. Tend to Your Loved One's Assets
 
Consider whether your loved one's belongings will be distributed to family members, sold, or donated. Get in touch with professionals if you wish to hold an estate sale or put a house on the market. Employ a real estate agent who has experience selling the homes of the deceased in a thoughtful, caring manner. Ask your agent how to tactfully advertise the sale on your social media accounts.
 
Notifying others of your loved one’s passing can be difficult when you, too, are struggling to process the news. Be kind to yourself during this transition and consider delaying any non-essential account creation or posting until you have had time to grieve in your own way. It’s also a good idea to consult with a professional grief counselor like Erica S. Kim to process the challenges you’re facing. 
 
Certified grief counselor Erica S. Kim’s passion is to help those in need, including the poor in Cambodia. She also volunteers to help out at a school in Cambodia every year. Reach out to find out more! (303)710-9002.
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When people close to you are terminally ill, you become a key part of their last moments in life. You may be pre-grieving the loss you know is coming and the loss of who they were, and at the same time, you continue to care for them and preserve the last moments you have together. It is possible, and even healing, to embrace this grief while also honoring their life and memory in their last days. Here, Erica S. Kim offers guidance to help you along in this difficult time. 
 
Accept Your Feelings of Anticipatory Grief
 
The first thing to realize is that grieving for terminally ill loved ones before they pass, often called pre-grieving or anticipatory grief, is completely normal. Part of this grief is anticipating that they will be gone soon, but it’s also about the losses already experienced through their illness. You have watched them suffer and lose their health, and possibly also lose their memory and mental understanding. Give yourself grace by understanding that this mix of emotions, and the feeling of not knowing what to do, is entirely normal.
 
Some people may think these feelings mean you’re letting go, but in reality, embracing the process of pre-grieving can help you and your loved one both make the most of his or her last days and lead to a closer connection between you. Allowing yourself to feel this grief, rather than hoping for recovery, allows you to both choose how you want to spend the time you have together and make it as meaningful as possible. 
 
Have Difficult Conversations
 
Making the time you have meaningful includes talking about necessary yet difficult topics, including living arrangements, who your loved one would like to connect with in their waning years, and the location of importantdocuments. Some documents may not exist, such as a will, so now’s the time to get such items in order. Though far from easy, such conversations can be freeing for everyone. 
 
Contribute to a Peaceful Environment
 
The process of transitioning your loved one from hospital care and treatment to palliative in-home care is often part of the experience of anticipatory grief. Bringing home a terminally ill loved one can be an emotionally charged time in both the caregiver’s life and the final days of the patient. It’s possible to offset this by contributing to the home’s peaceful environment. One way you can do this is by using familiar comfort items like blankets, and storing medical equipment away whenever possible to make it truly feel like home, rather than a hospital.  
 
Honor Your Loved One’s Life Now and Their Memory for a Lifetime
 
It’s perfectly OK, and can even be uplifting and healing, to start honoring your loved one’s life now. Gather pictures and other items of meaning so that the whole family can remember moments of joy you have had together. During this time and after your loved one passes, CNN suggests actively choosing to preserve these memories, which is a part of the healing process of grief and can even bring joy back into your life. 
 
Being a caregiver can be a trying time, so take the recommendation from What’s Your Grief? to find a creative outletlike journaling, art or photography. When you focus on something creative, it helps you explore your own feelings of grief, and it can be a way of honoring your loved one’s life at the same time. You can also continue to display your artwork after your loved one passes so it remains a part of your ongoing process of grieving and remembering. Houzz has some unique ideas for embracing those memories throughout your home, such as creating a spot to display their favorite books that you can go to whenever you want that connection.
 
Preserving these memories while your loved one is still with you as well as after he or she is gone can actually help bridge that emotional divide at a time that can be hard for you both. Grief isn’t a one-time experience. It’s a process, and when someone you love is terminally ill, embracing the anticipatory part of the grief process can give you both some peace. 
 
Photo credit: Unsplash
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Please watch my update for "Life in Quarantine".

https://vimeo.com/denverchurchofchrist/review/416395393/d9d79a9422

Life has changed so much in a just a few weeks. In Denver, we have been in quarantine (Shelter in place) since March 25th. Even though we have never experienced a virus like this before, the world has been at war with each other in the past. Thankfully, these times have been a united war against a disease and not against one another.
​Please watch my video. Just click on the link above.

​Loss is a part of life. During my younger years, I experienced the loss of my mother, then my only sibling and brother, Hiroshi. This past year and half, I lost my second mother, Gloria, three dear friends and my two dogs.

It is not easy saying good-bye no matter how many times we face the death of someone close to us. The sadness can become extremely heightened during the holiday season. We know that we are supposed to be happy and grateful, but the memories come rushing back. 

For me, I can often isolate myself in my grief. I have learned through all of this that my friends and family are a gift. Every minute is a precious gift. I pray that if you have experienced grief this past year or so, you can find strength through the loved ones who are still with you. I think it's ok to be sad, if you miss those special people. Just know that you are not alone.